Reasons why today was perfect

• Slept in
• Chocolate and banana pancakes for breakfast
• Watched Alvin and the chipmunks
• Rode around the island to Mermaid Beach
• Went snorkelling on the reef
• Tanned on the beach and read Scar tissue
• Had lunch under a hut on the beach
• Then had a massage on the beach by an indonesian lady 

Just got back to our bungalow and now we are gonna have a shower then go out to dinner :) 

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I cant describe how much it sucks, watching your ex boyfriend move on, while you lay in bed every night, thinking about him. Knowing that we can never go back to how we use to be, and how much happier and better off he is without me. I wish i could just make an impact on someones life, the way people do to mine. Everywhere i look im reminded of him, and im trying to let this not effect me as much as i can. but it just becomes so overwhelming at times, and i have no one to talk to about it, which makes it harder for me. Why does someone as shit as me even exist.

This is a really hard question. Because I admire so so many artists. But im going to have to go with the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Anthony Kiedis’ story about growing up, and his rise to fame is one of the most interesting, honest stories i’ve heard and i recommend everyone to go read his book, its called ”Scar Tissue”. Ah just thinking about it makes him makes me happy. If i could meet anyone in the world it would be Anthony from RHCP. 

Likes

• My dogs
• Family
• Bed
• Fresh bread
• Acid
• Buying new clothes
• Redecorating my room
• Clean sheets on my bed
• Sushi!
• Feeling relevant for once

Dislikes

• “friends” who go for your ex
• “friends” who go for guys youre interested in :|
• No food in the house
• My intense mood swings
• People who are so blind and cant see how much of an idiot they sound like ugh
• When my parents dont fucking listen and just jump to conclusions
• Being irrelevant
• Capped internet
• Gaining weight
• Not being 18

(I am half asleep right now, so it may not make much sense..)

• I care about animals and appreciate them a lot more than people.
• I have a lot of psychological problems, you wouldnt realise at all, unless you became close with me and i let you in. 
• ^^ Why i dont like letting people in. Its not worth the pain or stress, when things dont work out the way i want them to.
• I used to dedicate my life to cycling everyday, but things have gone down hill since i quit.
• Im scared
• So i self sabotage things.
• My favourite person in the world is my brother
• My favourite colour is black
•  Im very interested in Ancient History and mummification
•  I love Ryan Gosling and Darwin Deez so much

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I feel as if im dead to everyone. My presence hasn’t been acknowledged for so long now. Im not meaning to sound like a spoilt moody girl, having a cry because im not the centre of attention. Because im completely fine with laying low, but i haven’t been invited anywhere all holidays, and no one even bothers contacting me at all. And when i mean at all, i mean zero. Zilch. I wake up every morning at around 7am, but i dont leave my room until atleast 11 or 12, just so my mum is off my back for atleast half the day, i’ve never seen someone try so hard to get me happy, and make me do things. This hurts. I hate letting her down.

I want my ribs to be strongly defined again. This will happen.